Life is totally unfair. And, that’s perfectly fine. Those that accept it win.
I was in Chicago this weekend.
And, spent a decent amount of time walking around the city and thinking.
Just looking around you see people from all-walks of life.
One thing that is clear is that everyone goes about their own life.
But, it was not easy for me to look over the adults on the side of the street selling candy to passersby to make a living.
Why? Well, so often I would see young kids (6 or under) tied around the corner of the street forced to sit with their parents and sell candy bars.
Given that every child in the US has the right to proper living accommodations and education, it’s painful to see that such young children need to learn to fend for their living so early on.
While other kids are in school learning, growing, and developing.
The worst part – it’s almost as if the parents use the children to get more sympathy to make more sales. Is this not a form of child labor? Well, the line is unclear.
What is clear is that it is totally unfair. It pains me as an educator.
My mission is that over the long-term, I want every student to see their potential and exercise it to the fullest.
How do you do that? You need to be in the right environment. Situations like that do not foster the right circumstances for most kids.
This is one extreme. But, the idea of unfairness exists all around us.
I was training two students to get an internship at the same company. Advising them on the people they should reach out to, the process, crafting the story, prepping the technicals, etc.
Recently, I talked to a different student who got that internship. They had no experience, but walked into the opportunity because their parents were family friends with the founder.
That student got the internship over 2 of the kids I trained.
It didn’t feel good knowing that, sure. But that’s how all of life is.
It’s easy to get carried away by unfairness. But then, we go through life as a victim.
Everything is unfair. I should have got that opportunity. I deserved X and Y, but Z happened.
Feeling victimized is normal in the moment. But, there is no benefit. It only reduces our commitment to the goal. So, I have learned to reframe it.
Unfairness is actually what makes life special.
There is not one way to succeed. It is up to us to find the ways to get what we want. And, it’s not always how we expect it.
A lot of the notes I scribble from daily interactions converges to the following logic. I am still testing the logic – it does not always hold up, but I use it for now.
Life is not fair in the short-term. But, in the long-term things converge to the level of effort applied.
So, someone might get the offer over you that you deserved. But, if you keep networking and keep learning, you will have more opportunities arise.
The person that just gets by will not be able to keep getting by in the long-run. The person that goes above and beyond over the long-term will reap those benefits.
The only problem is when we lose our drive and commitment to excellence.
We must fight that urge and find comfort in the longer term.
